That darkest day
With a peaceful rain
In the blackest night
The moon called my name,
Pierced my dreaming sight.
A dazzling frenzy swept me afar
But that night, there were no stars.
I found myself
Sitting in a chair in a hospital room
No view from the seat
A heartbeat by the broom.
A waiting room, I remember,
It was ‘round about noon
Or three
When this man walked up to me
Told me to keep my seat
No smiles
Just to put a warm hand on my knee
So I just sit and just be
Listening attentively to the sting of bees and
The cringe of leaves
In the pit of Hell
Cold fire waxing on my dreams.
No peace. Give me rest
Or a nest for my tainted heart
Under massive attack
No longer pumps red, now black.
I want to run fast away to a place
To find an embrace
That erases the pain
Of this new emptiness; the space
The darkness. The void that I can’t avoid
Creeping through my spine and down my black neck, crack!
Check or inspect just to see if it’s wrecked
A car, breeze, let me leave.
Escape from this bare, black, bleak reality
To a galaxy far, far away where I can just be, me.
But I can’t ‘cause I’m sinking I’m freaking
I’m Knocking Out. Deep inside this grey,
Almost black chasm of my belly
Like jelly, I lose all my form
And drown in a watery sea scorned with
Rivers falling from my eyes of strain
And sighs of pain
Sweating bullets, rivers of rain
Drip drops of insanity’s name
Crying to God to send more pain
‘Cause there’s no more pleasure in these streets
Only a pool of sin, an ocean of defeat
Washed up on a beach of nails, bleeding tears through my feet.
I lost a piece of me
On the inside.
It died.
So I cried!
Cried out loud to the stormy sky,
“Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?”
Strike me down with white thunder
Straight through my black eye.
Then it hit me, this curse
Never felt a pain much worse.
It hurts.
Soothe me like the billows roll,
Tossed and driven,
Covered, like a blanket’s soul
That I lost, or gained
Midnight in the rain
When my grandfather left me
Never to see me again.
His name, that’s what I heard
In the waiting room without a view
Around about noon.
Or three, when I hope to see
Him
If I die soon.
